Hello my friendlies,
Wow, wow, wow. I’m not even sure where to begin, really. I had such plans for the weekend, blog posts scheduled squeeing with excitement for my special giveaway coming up in a couple days . . .
And then I turned on my local news at 3:45 Friday morning.
I see a normally cheerful and smiley Kyle Dyer of my favorite news station, 9NEWS, with a grim set to her face and sadness in her eyes while she reports on a “MASS SHOOTING AT AURORA THEATER.”
What. The. H.
Immediately I was like, whaaaa? Where, which theater? See, without giving up too much of my personal information, I live on the border between the City of Aurora and the City of Denver. And Aurora, is like, huge, over 300k people and over 150 square miles consuming three different counties kind of large. It sprawls and sprawls and sprawls. There are many theaters scattered all over. But when I saw the oh-so-familiar neon sign of the Century 16 Theater, my heart sank. No! That’s like, MY theater! Hubs and I and our family have been going to that movie theater since the day it was built!
What. The. F!
And then my phone rang, my mom calling me wanting to know if my husband and I went to the movies, because she knew how anxiously I’ve been waiting to see The Dark Knight Rises, avoiding any and all internet contact that would result in spoiling the movie. My great-aunt called shortly after that, the person who cultivated my love for the silver screen during all those childhood summers spent visiting her in California, wanting to make sure that hubs and I weren’t at the movies that night. Hubs and I had chatted about wanting to go to the late night showing, but being a work night, we decided that a matinee would be best over the weekend. So it was nice to put their minds at ease that we were never in any sort of danger or anything.
As the story unfolded, I couldn’t look away from the TV. My heart hurt at the emotion in the witnesses voices as they relayed their stories, and feelings of pride surged at hearing about the courageous acts of heroism. Then, they revealed the suspect’s address off of 17th and Peoria.
What. The. DOUBLE F!
That is like, less that one mile from my house, my friendlies! I had my first ever traffic accident at that very intersection a few years ago, a lady ran a stop sign and t-boned me while I was driving home. I visit the 7-11 there for my slurpee fix. My mother-in-law works at the elementary school just up the street from there. My uncle used to shop the PX at Fitzsimmons there, my husband has visited with docs at the Anschutz Cancer center.
This tragedy didn’t occur in some far off place across the country, it happened here, in my neighborhood, near my home.
See, there are times I think I’m able to numb myself a bit to some sadness, and maybe that sounds horrible. When Columbine happened and the incident with Platte Canyon High School, those were close, I wept and felt immense sadness for those students who went to school one day and never came back home to their families. I ached for the fear those incidents created about whether kids are safe in school or not. This may sound awful, but even though I sympathized and had heartfelt emotions, Columbine and Platte Canyon High weren’t high schools I attended, I had never driven by those campuses on a daily basis, I don’t live in Littleton or Bailey. So while that tragedy impacted me because I live in the same state, I didn’t have that sense of closeness that I do right now.
I think I’m feeling that sense of hopelessness, the “Why? What was his motive?” I mean, this wasn’t a situation where violence could escalate due to alcohol or clashing opinions. This was a movie theater, a quiet place where friends and families were just looking to spend some time with each other and enjoy a flick. It’s a place where you’re supposed to kick back and relax, a place to escape reality and be entertained for a couple hours.
I’m also thinking, “What could we have done to prevent this?” and I feel so bummed that my answer is “Probably nothing.” See, in my opinion, if someone wants to cause harm to others, if that’s their intent deep in their heart to see something like this through, nothing will stop them from completing that task. Even if we banned all guns or made bullets like $500 a piece. Do we start outlawing baseball bats, tire irons, pipe wrenches, do we tie people’s hands to their sides so they don’t punch anyone to death? I don’t know, I don’t have the answers, I just feel like the bottom line is, where there is a will to do inhumane things, there is a way to make them happen. We just need to remember that a statement like that works both ways – where there is a will to do GOOD things, there is a way to make them happen.
I know there are a ton of awesome people out there, and there are just as many jerk-faced jack-asses out there, too. To me, it’s not about preventing the bad or evil things, but about how we overcome them and band together as good people to push back against the bad.
So, yeah my friendlies, that’s where my head’s been the past few days. I’ve turned to twitter a few times to try and focus on other things, tried picking up a book and even scrolled through all my friends updates on FB. But with helicopters hovering overhead, talk of all the booby traps, chemicals and incendiary devices in that apartment, well, I haven’t been able to think about much else than what’s happening down the street.
I’d like to think we had some help that day, small miracles where reports indicated his gun jammed, saving who knows how many lives. Thank the heavens that no angry neighbor upset about the loud music or members of our fine police squad clearing the building opened the door to his apartment. The suspect intended for many bad things to happen that day, I’m heartbroken for the senseless loss of life, but I’m thankful he wasn’t 100% successful in what he had planned.
Anyways, I know I don’t mention any names in this post, there’s been enough readily mentioned in the media. And yeah, my post title is kinda vague, too. I didn’t really want my footprint to fall into the mass of other better-written, or more detail oriented blog posts out there or to detract from the people who have suffered the greatest impact of all with the loss of their loved ones. I just needed an outlet to release my thoughts.
I appreciate you all for letting me deviate from the normal writerly/bookish things I like to talk about. I’ll be back on schedule soon! *hugs!* 
Such a horrific tragedy and when it’s in your backyard it is even more surreal. My college daughter and her boyfriend went to the premier in another state at the same time..and you cannot help but think, what if it was here. Truth be told it could happen any time, any where! We just need to grab life by the tails and enjoy each and every moment as if its the last.
It’s frightening to think about that possibility, of it happening to someone you love so dearly. And you’re absolutely right, we need to enjoy life every day because we never know when our time will come. Thank you so much for stopping by to read and comment, I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
Oh, my goodness, Kelly! How absolutely creepy and frightening. So glad to hear that you’re okay!
Thanks, Erin! It’s scary to think about what some are capable of, especially when they live so close by! I’m lucky in that everyone I know is ok.
Oh, dear Kelly.. All you say here is so true. I will confess that until you pointed out how the proximity of this horrible event to your own daily life creates an even greater impact than those further away.. well, I see exactly what you mean. As I read what you have said, and imagine that it was my neighborhood – I feel it even more. It is more than a terrible thing in the news that happened to “someone” somewhere else. When it is so close to your own daily life, it becomes much more personal and more heartfelt – right or wrong.
Thank you commenting as you have, Kelly.
I’m rambling. I want to express my sorrow that this has broken so many hearts, including your own. But also, I want to say how deeply grateful I am that you and your family are all safe.
Hi Leon, thank you so much for your heartfelt response. I honestly didn’t expect people to read or comment on my thoughts about all this, so I’m pleasantly surprised to see everyone expressing so much. I think that’s what got me the most, was the close proximity to places I drive by or had visited hours or days before the incident. It’s an unsettling feeling, that’s for sure. Thank you for clicking in, I sincerely appreciate you and your kind thoughts.
(((Hugs))) and ::clapping:: for looking at the situation through multiple lenses. The situation is horrifying at best but you’re 100% right. No matter the laws, no matter the prevention … bad people will do bad things because it’s what they want to do. We can really only hope and pray if it’s our time, we can be courageous for others in the process. My thoughts and prayers have been with everyone in Aurora since I heard. And now to bend a knee in prayer for them again …
Hi Emi! wow, what you’ve said here is so beautifully touching. It’s tough, but sometimes that’s all we can do is pray for the good to outweigh the actions of the bad. Thank you so much for taking time to comment.
*hugs!*
Something like this makes you seriously question our human kind, and wonder why such awfulness exists. It only perpetuates that feeling when the chaos is right in front of where you live and breathe everyday, and can’t escape the radiating feeling of helplessness and sadness. In times of tragedy there are certain people that shine little happy rays of sunshine and remind us that not everyone is bad, that humanity is not forsaken, and that there really are good people in this world. YOU Ms. Kelly are one of those people. Thank you for your kind words, your genuine feelings, and your good heart. You help to make this world a better place to be in. I’m so sorry for the heartbreak your community is going through. With the help of people like you, hope will restore. My sincere appreciation for all the loving people who never give up no matter what obstacle they are faced with, to put their mark on our world. Thank you for your caring thoughts. <3 Britt
I totally know what you mean, Brittany. I think it’s yin and yang, where you have people who spread the most peace in the world, you’re gonna have those who spread violence to keep the balance. It just really sucks that tragedies have to remind us of the important things in life and that we have yet another date to add to our “REMEMBER” calendar. You are such a sweet friend, you have a way of expressing matters of high emotion in the most delicate way. Thank you for gracing my blog with your heartfelt presence.
Double UGH. So glad to hear you’re safe. Honestly, I DID think of you when I first heard about this, wondering where you were. Thank God you’re alright. HUGS!
I know, it was such a shocking event to wake up to, the entire day felt so surreal. I can’t imagine the pain the victims, survivors and their families feel. Thanks for stopping by Terri, I appreciate your kindness.